The SOLAR Project - Sex Offender Legal Advocacy & Reform
Family & Allies Guide

The SOLAR Family & Allies Guide

Supporting a loved one through a sex-offense case—from arrest to reentry (and beyond)

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Important Notice

Note: This is not legal advice. Laws and procedures vary by state and case. Use this as a grounded, action-oriented roadmap, and confirm steps with your attorney.

1

Quick-start: the first 48 hours

If police or agents call/text/knock:

  • Don't explain, debate, or "clear things up." Say: "I'm invoking the right to remain silent. I want a lawyer." Then stop talking (ACLU).
  • If your loved one is already in custody, do not discuss facts of the case on recorded jail phones or messages. Save facts for the attorney.

Get counsel moving, fast:

  • If it's federal: contact your district's Federal Public Defender office (they regularly handle sex-offense cases).
  • If it's state and money is tight: court-appointed defenders are an option; if hiring privately, choose an attorney with demonstrated sex-offense experience (review actual case dockets, not just marketing).

Bail/release prep (day 1–2):

  • Gather pay stubs, lease/mortgage, proof of caregiving, treatment enrollment, and letters of community support to help with release arguments.
  • Expect possible no-contact orders, GPS/curfew, internet/device limits, and surprise searches as pretrial conditions.
2

Ground truths to steady you

Most people convicted of sex offenses do not commit a new sex crime after release.

In a major DOJ study, only about 8% were arrested for a new sexual offense over nine years (BJS report).

Most child sexual abuse is by someone the child knows, not a stranger.

Reference: RAINN Statistics

Families get targeted too.

In one national study, 44% of registrants reported harassment or threats, and 30% said their families experienced it as well (Levenson & Tewksbury, 2009).

Family contact matters.

Regular visitation is associated with lower recidivism after release (NIJ summary).

3

Your communication playbook

With your loved one (recorded calls/visits):

  • "I love you. I won't discuss case facts on this line. Let's save everything for your lawyer. Here's what I can do today: (1) call attorneys, (2) gather paperwork, (3) check on housing/work/kids."
  • "I hear you're scared. Me too. We'll move one square at a time—lawyer first, basic needs next."

With police/agents:

  • "I'm not answering questions. I want a lawyer." (Repeat. Do not consent to searches. If they search anyway, stay calm, don't interfere; note names/badge numbers.)

With kids (truthful, age-appropriate):

  • "Dad/Mom is in a serious kind of trouble with the law. Adults are working on it. You are safe and loved. You can ask questions anytime."
  • If there's a no-contact order: "For now, the rules say you can't see/talk to ___; it's not because of you. We'll keep you updated."

With extended family & friends:

  • "We're following the legal process and keeping details private. If you want to help, here's how: rides for kids, letters for the court, showing up without judgment."

With employer/school:

  • "A legal matter requires my loved one's absence/modified schedule. We're complying with court orders. I'll keep you posted only on what affects work/school logistics."
4

Protecting your household & privacy

5

Pretrial: what families can do

Conditions to expect:

  • No-contact orders, restricted internet/computer use, device searches, location restrictions, mandated evaluations, or polygraphs.

Practical supports:

  • Transportation to court, childcare, pillbox for meds, appointment calendars, "court-day folder" with essentials.
  • If internet/device limits apply, create separate devices for kids' schoolwork; log usage.
6

If incarceration happens

  • Visits: Prioritize steady, predictable visits or letters. Contact near release is especially protective against reoffending (NIJ).
  • What to send/do: Photos (if permitted), hobby books, reentry prep (IDs checklist, resumes, housing leads).
  • Routine contact: Letters, scheduled calls, and short but frequent check-ins matter more than occasional "grand gestures."
7

Reentry & the registry

  • Day 1–3: Register immediately. Most states require registration within 24–72 hours of release (SMART Office state directory). Keep copies of all forms and confirmations.
  • Housing: Plan early; broad residency bans create homelessness (NCSL housing report). Ask probation/parole for compliant lists.
  • Employment: Explore trade programs, supportive employers, or small business options. Use the National Inventory of Collateral Consequences of Conviction to understand restrictions.
  • Conditions: Review in writing with your supervising officer; comply exactly. Even small violations (missed check-in, forgotten password) can return someone to custody.
8

Mental health: support for you and them

  • Crisis line: Call or text 988 (988 Lifeline) for confidential support.
  • Treatment locator: FindTreatment.gov for therapy, psychiatry, or substance-use help.
  • Sex-offense-specific programs: Safer Society provides directories of specialized treatment providers.
  • Family self-care: Join support groups, seek therapy for yourself, and create private outlets for stress.
9

Advocacy & information hubs

  • NARSOL — National Association for Rational Sex Offense Laws (policy, reform, state affiliates).
  • ACSOL — Alliance for Constitutional Sex Offense Laws (litigation, education).
  • SMART Office — DOJ's registry standards and state-by-state information.
10

Scripts for tough moments

To supervising officer:

"We want to get this right. Can you confirm in writing the internet, contact, and travel conditions for our home?"

To school administrator:

"I'm (child's) guardian. I have school-zone restrictions. How can we handle pickups, conferences, and events within the rules?"

To skeptical relatives:

"You don't have to approve of everything to support us. We're focused on accountability, compliance, and safety. If you can't be constructive, we'll take some space."

If a reporter/neighbor confronts you:

"We're cooperating with the legal process and have no comment. Please direct questions to our attorney."

11

Common pitfalls to avoid

  • Talking about case facts on jail calls or texts.
  • Contacting the alleged victim or family directly.
  • Ignoring "minor" rules like device passwords or curfews.
  • Waiting until the last minute for housing or employment solutions.
12

Stage-by-stage starter plan (first 90 days of each phase)

Pretrial (first 90 days):

  • Weeks 1–2: Secure counsel; invoke silence; gather documents; lock down privacy.
  • Weeks 3–4: Prepare for bail/release; adjust household tech use; build support network.
  • Month 2: Manage court logistics, support groups, childcare routines.
  • Month 3: Draft support letters for possible sentencing; maintain compliance.

Incarceration (first 90 days):

  • Weeks 1–2: Learn facility rules; put funds on commissary.
  • Weeks 3–4: Set up steady letters/visits; encourage early programming.
  • Month 2: Build a reentry binder; send educational/work prep materials.
  • Month 3: Identify facility support (chaplain, reentry coordinators); manage expectations around contact.

Reentry & Registry (first 90 days):

  • Days 1–3: Register immediately (24–72 hours in most states); confirm housing with parole/probation; get conditions in writing.
  • Weeks 1–2: Secure basic housing and income; start therapy and treatment.
  • Weeks 3–4: Document compliance; begin early job/vocational training.
  • Month 2: Establish family routines; explore volunteering or trade programs.
  • Month 3: Review long-term goals (education, career, community reintegration).
13

Why your support matters

Families often feel isolated and judged, but research shows:

  • Sex-offense recidivism is lower than most think.
  • Pro-social family contact is protective.
  • Steady, realistic support helps rebuild lives.

Your presence—paired with clear boundaries and compliance—can change outcomes.

14

Expanded checklist

Pretrial:

  • Invoke silence & request lawyer.
  • Secure counsel; prepare bail package.
  • Gather IDs, medical, financial records.
  • Lock down privacy (opt-outs, credit freeze, P.O. box).
  • Create court-day binder.
  • Set home compliance plan.
  • Draft scripts for work, school, family.

During incarceration:

  • Learn mail/call/visit rules.
  • Send regular, small support (letters, books, commissary).
  • Encourage education, treatment, and reentry prep.
  • Build reentry binder.
  • Maintain outside contact lists.
  • Balance family support with self-care.

Reentry & Registry:

  • Register within 24–72 hours of release; keep proof.
  • Confirm housing compliance with supervision.
  • Get all conditions in writing from supervising officer.
  • Start therapy/treatment programs immediately.
  • Document all compliance efforts.
  • Explore employment/vocational training options.
  • Build sustainable family routines and support systems.

Important Reminders

  • This guide is not a substitute for legal advice. Always consult your attorney about case-specific decisions.
  • Confirm deadlines for registration, court appearances, and supervision requirements — missing even small ones can lead to serious consequences.
  • Take care of yourself as well as your loved one — family stability is a protective factor during and after legal proceedings.